If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
