OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
