What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
