So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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