Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
this hospital has no fireball
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
