cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
they're like a gay fantastic four
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
