bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
