Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish i was in the wii world.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Randomize
