Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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