You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
