I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
