Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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two words...techno handjob
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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