Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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