yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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