just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
