we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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