well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Holy shit dude........stairs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
