Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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