You really coming over, don't trick.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
