I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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