so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
