it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
