So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
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I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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