great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
