why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
