you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
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yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
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If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize