I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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