That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
