you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Floor bacon is actually really good
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
