my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
