god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
