This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
