Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
