community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
