I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
