so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
