May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
