I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
