ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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