Three words: puerto rican gang bang
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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