Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize