Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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