I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
