i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
