so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize