Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So vagazzling was a success
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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