My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
