this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
