This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize