I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
