So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
