there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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