i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
