I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
