you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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