from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
