Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
