member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
