I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
