Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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