My brain says no but my pants say off.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize