there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just gargled with NyQuil
not ubering you a puppy
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
