i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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