didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
