You're so nebulous sometimes
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
