I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
not ubering you a puppy
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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